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SOMEONE UNDER MY BED! The weekly blog by Jeff Carnie

A man went to a psychiatrist with a worry problem. “Every time I get into bed,” he said, “I’m convinced there is somebody under it.”

“I can help,” said the psychiatrist, “But it will mean a session a week for a year, costing $50.00 per visit.”

The man never returned, so when the psychiatrist met him in the street he asked why he hadn’t come back. “Oh, a friend cured me for nothing,” he explained.

“How did he do that?” asked the psychiatrist.

“He simply told me to cut the legs off the bed!” replied the man.

The LORD is my light and my salvation– whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:1

Never fear for the Lord your God is with you!!

Be Blessed

Jeff Carnie

9:30 Worship Pastor

First Baptist Church

8939 East Stockton, Blvd.

Elk Grove, CA. 95624

www.fbceg.org

www.jeffcarnieandspectrum.com

Follow me on Twitter http://twitter.com/jeffcarnie

Like our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/JeffCarnieandSpectrum

Listen to us on internet radio at http://www.jango.com/music/Jeff+Carnie+and+Spectrum

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“I TITHE–HE’LL FIND ME.”


Two men have ended up marooned on an island in the South Pacific. You can fill in the blanks as to how they got there.

So they are on the clichéic deserted island, one palm tree, nothing to see but the ocean. One guy is in a complete panic, pacing back and forth, ranting about how they are going to die, hungry and alone, that nobody will stumble on them until they are nothing but bones. The other guy is sitting under the tree snoozing.

Finally the first man can’t stand it anymore and he demands “What’s wrong with you, don’t you understand the situation?”

To which the reply came “Sure I do, we are stranded on this island hundreds of miles from anywhere”

“Well aren’t you worried?”

“Nope” came the reply “I make $10,000.00 a week.”

The first guy was at a complete loss, “What does that have to do with anything, you have no access to the money and no place to spend it if you did.”

To which the second guy replied “No you don’t understand, I make $10,000.00 a week and I tithe, my pastor will find me.”

“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this,” says the LORD of hosts, “if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows.

Malachi 3:10

Have a great week and be blessed!

Jeff Carnie

9:30 Worship Pastor

First Baptist Church

8939 East Stockton, Blvd.

Elk Grove, CA. 95624

www.fbceg.org

www.jeffcarnieandspectrum.com

Follow me on Twitter http://twitter.com/jeffcarnie

Like our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/JeffCarnieandSpectrum

Listen to us on internet radio at http://www.jango.com/music/Jeff+Carnie+and+Spectrum


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Marry Had A Little Lamb: The weekly blog by Jeff Carnie

Mary had a little Lamb,

His fleece was white as snow.

And everywhere that Mary went,

The Lamb was sure to go.

He followed her to school each day,

When it wasn’t against the rules.

He made the children laugh and play,

To have a Lamb at school.

Then the rules were changed one day,

Against the law it became.

To bring the Lamb of God to school,

Or even speak His Name.

Every day got worse and worse,

And days turned into years.

’Stead of hearing children laugh and play,

You heard them crying tears.

What must we do to stop the crime,

That’s in our schools today?

Let the Lamb come back to school,

And teach our kids to pray.

Jeff Carnie

9:30 Worship Pastor

First Baptist Church

8939 East Stockton, Blvd.

Elk Grove, CA. 95624

www.fbceg.org

www.jeffcarnieandspectrum.com

Follow me on Twitter http://twitter.com/jeffcarnie

Like our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/JeffCarnieandSpectrum

Listen to us on internet radio at http://www.jango.com/music/Jeff+Carnie+and+Spectrum


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A FULL LIFE: The weekly blog by Jeff Carnie

A FULL LIFE

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

“Not very long,” answered the Mexican.

“Well, then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

“I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life.”

The American interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.

“With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant.

“You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge enterprise.”

“How long would that take?” asked the Mexican.

“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years,” replied the American.

“And after that?” “Afterwards?

That’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the American, laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!”

“Millions? Really? And after that?”

“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take siestas with your wife, and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 10: 10

Don’t let the enemy still your joy! Live for God! Live a joyous life. Be blessed!

Jeff Carnie

9:30 Worship Pastor

First Baptist Church

8939 East Stockton, Blvd.

Elk Grove, CA. 95624

www.fbceg.org

www.jeffcarnieandspectrum.com

Follow me on Twitter http://twitter.com/jeffcarnie

Like our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/JeffCarnieandSpectrum

Listen to us on internet radio at http://www.jango.com/music/Jeff+Carnie+and+Spectrum


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FREEDOM! The weekly blog by Jeff Carnie

FREEDOM

In the movie Brave Heart, Mel Gibson plays the role of a man from Scotland whose name was Wallace. It was a great movie – very graphic in the battle scenes, but it really gave you a feel of what battles were like back in those days.

Wallace was trying to win Scotland’s freedom from the cruel rule of England. The King of England at this time was a man named Longshanks. He was as cruel as he was wicked. Longshanks hatred for both Scotland and Wallace grew as the movie progressed and Wallace won many victories against England..

But in the end Wallace is betrayed by a friend and captured by Longshanks who is now older and very ill. It is Longshanks plan to not merely kill Wallace but to have him beg for mercy and a quick death.

As the movie ends Wallace is brought to the court yard before a jeering crowd – they mock him, spit at him, and throw things at him.Then the King’s executioner begins to torture him,telling him that if he begs for mercy they will make the death quick.

Meanwhile Longshanks is up in his room – on his death bed – waiting to hear his enemy Wallace beg for mercy….

After not responding, Wallace tries to speak – though it is difficult because his throat is messed up from being tortured.The man in charge of the torture gets the crowd to be silent so they all can hear Wallace beg. But instead of begging for mercy, Wallace summons up what little strength he has left to scream with great force the word –FREEDOM!!!!

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY and  be blessed

Help us spread the word! Tell a friend!

Jeff Carnie

9:30 Worship Pastor

First Baptist Church

8939 East Stockton, Blvd.

Elk Grove, CA. 95624

www.fbceg.org

www.jeffcarnieandspectrum.com

Follow me on Twitter http://twitter.com/jeffcarnie

Like our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/JeffCarnieandSpectrum

Listen to us on internet radio at http://www.jango.com/music/Jeff+Carnie+and+Spectrum